The Poop on the Sidewalk!
by rachel laufer
Summary: I guess you know what to expect from a gang of two girls, right? Answer: CHAOS!
1. The Poop on the Sidewalk!

Junie B was walking home with Grace one day when she nearly stepped on something.

Brown, smelly, shaped like soft serve ice cream, soft enough to put a hole in with your finger (If you dare touch it)! Junie B asked Grace,

"What is that pile of brown ice cream doing on the sidewalk? And how did it get here? And who made it? And who was responsible for this creation of stinky stuff on my sidewalk? Who done it?"

Grace picked up the pile of...brown stuff, and sniffed it.

She licked the brown pile, and threw up far enough to the middle of the road!

"Poop! Feces! Dung! Scat! Whatever! What a stupid question to ask, Junie B, you idiot!"

**Not very nice to Junie B Jones, was it? Gross!**


	2. Soft Serve Poop Cream!

Junie B decided to go to the restaurant that serves hamburgers!

Grace hid the poop in her used lunchbox, and kept the lid on tight. Tight! She and Junie B went in the burger place, and one of the workers walked up to Grace and Junie B.

-_Sniff, sniff!- _"Excuse me please! We want Burger King to smell nice and clean, not like a farm! You will have to pay 30 dollars if you violate our policy for this restaurant! Otherwise, fuck off!"

"He just said the F word! Mama taught me not to say bad words!" Grace said. Junie B replied "The name of this place is Burger King! Where is that fat guy with a crown who works in restaurant all day serving fat people with chicken nuggets, whoppers and french fries?"

Junie B decided to sleep next to Burger King until the fast food joint closed, eating grass and drinking rain to survive.

"It's... Friday! We won't miss school, Junie B! I know where to put that poo poo pile-" Junie B then said...

"In the soft serve ice cream machine!"

"Yeah! People will mistake it for triple chocolate! And GAG!" Grace replied in excitement.

Junie B found a rock in the grass, picked it up, and -SMASH!- threw it at the window. The two girls walked in and groped their way through the silent building. Glass shards were scattered all over the floor, but the children's feet were protected by the soles of their shoes.

Grace, after a little groping, flipped on a light switch. Junie B exclaimed "LOOK! A Soft Serve Ice Cream Machine!"

Grace came over and pondered how they could open that machine.

"I see a fat guy with keys! He doesn't give a fuck or shit what we are doing!" Junie B snatched the man's keys off his hand, and opened the ice cream machine.

Grace dumped the poop into the machine and the two girls ran back home!

-THE NEXT DAY-

Jim went to Burger King to order a soft serve ice cream cone. He paid his bill, went to the machine, and pulled the little handle down. Out came the ice cream! Yum! Jim took a big lick.

"EW! This stuff literally tastes like my dog's poop! God Damn It! I want my money back!"

"I'm sorry Slim Jim, but we don't give money back."

"OH CRAP! I'M GONNA THROW YOUR BUTT TO THE GROUND!" Jim threw the manager on the ground, facing on his bottom.

"AH! DAMN IT! WHY DIDN'T I WORK AT MCDONALD'S INSTEAD?!"


	3. I wanna have dessert!

The manager walked out of the building, with glass shards on his butt. He couldn't imagine the reason for the bad soft serve ice cream. As he yelped in pain, the manager reached for his cell phone to call the ambulance.

The ambulance arrived! A nurse carried the man into the ambulance with the help of another doctor, and the manager from the restaurant laid down on his stomach as his buttocks had bits of the window Junie B broke earlier.

"That fucking idiot!" he tried to say, but had a breathing mask on his mouth. Sent to the hospital an hour later, the manager continued to lie down on his stomach and have his broken hip repaired and the glass bits taken out of his bottom.

Meanwhile, Grace gave Junie B another idea.

"We can go back to your house now! You need to get back before lunch!"

The two children walked back to Junie B's house.

Junie B and Grace knocked on the door. "OW! MY KNUCKLES!" Junie B said as she knocked on the door.

"Where where you, June Beatrice Jones?! You need a penalty!" Mom was very mad.

"Football players get penalties all the time! I don't play football at all!"

Junie B was not allowed to eat dessert after dinner, even though she ate her stewed tomatoes this time.

"Your baby brother, Ollie, is being potty trained!" Mom told her daughter, Junie B Jones.

Ollie walked up to a windowsill, pulled down his diaper, and his bottom was sticking out the window. A squirrel went in the yard to find a nut...

Something landed on the squirrel's head! The squirrel wiped the mess off and left it on the ground.

Junie B wanted dessert so badly, she went to the yard in her nightgown to see if there was any 'dessert'.

Junie B found a pile of... Brown stuff. She wanted dessert, but this was what she had.

Junie B laid her tongue on the pile- tasted good!- She couldn't stop eating the foul smelling brown object, since this was the only dessert available.

"M'mm good!" She said. She got back into the house and went back to bed.

The next day, Mom got up early, cooking omelets with hash browns when she told her daughter the worst news she had ever received.

"I found out your brother, Ollie, had pooped out the window."


	4. Push It!

Junie B went to the bathroom to move her bowels. "Add an E to the word 'bowl' and you get 'bowel'!" Junie B placed her bottom on the toilet.

She squinted her eyes, held her breath, and pushed the muscles in her belly as hard as she possibly could. But nothing came out.

"Damn it! I want to poop in that toilet! I'm going to grab that Q Tip and poke it out!"

Junie B kept pushing to the point blood vessels popped out of her eyes, and pushed the poop back UP as she used the Q Tip.

"I had an extra cheese and pepperoni pizza with diet coke! And I ate a whole package of cheddar string cheese!"

"I think I ate too much cheese..." Junie B was exhausted from pushing a rock hard poop and shoving it back up.

Junie B ate a whole can of lentil beans along with a cup of water.

_Splash!_

"YES! IT'S OUT NOW!" Junie B screamed in relief. She flushed the poop down the toilet.

**That's the end of the story, folks. What should I write next?**


End file.
